So my brother, whom I blogged about 2 hours ago, calls en route from DC, where I guess he's been spending the day with his girlfriend, the physics professor, whom I've never met but who does exist since my parents have actually met her. And here is the hilarious conversation:
STC: Hey, so as usual, I haven't shopped for Mom and Dad until the last minute, and I won't be at your house until 8 or 9 tonight. And Tony made this great venison jerky last night. So I was thinking, do Mom and Dad have a food dehydrator?
Me: I have no idea. It sounds vaguely familiar, like they might have had one 10 years ago or so.
STC: Yeah, well I don't think they do. They used to dry their apples in some ridiculous way like on the woodstove, and you don't have a woodstove there. And I was looking online, and you can find one for really reasonable, like anywhere from $40-150. So, do you have an Ace Hardware or a Tru Value there?
STC: What do you mean? Every decent sized city in America has a Tru Valu or an Ace Hardware.
Me: Well, sorry, but we don't have one here. The closest one is in Knoxville. So..what are you really asking me? Are you asking me to do your last-minute Christmas shopping for you?
STC (laughing): Well, yeah! You can just go online and do a google search for "dehydrator." Then you can see which stores in your area carry decent dehydrators. Only don't go to Walmart because theirs will be a piece of trash.
Me: You have absolutely no concept of reality. You think that I am going to go out on Christmas Eve day and do YOUR shopping for you? You have no grasp whatsoever of reality.....
STC: Well, I might pass one on my way here and stop and......
Mercifully, his phone went dead at this point and he's not yet called back. I am not going to answer the phone today! I am NOT going to get sucked in and head out to Home Depot on Christmas Eve! I'm NOT! I'm NOT! I'm NOT!