Friday, September 4, 2009

Shaking It Off

I have to say that August was one of the oddest months I can remember. Everything felt disjointed. I've been out of all my normal patterns. I've been angrier than I've been in years, since the last injustice that affected me deeply. I had knots in my stomach for most of the month, both from anger and from the sadness and anxiety related to my parents selling their house.

I don't like feeling this way. I'm a happy, relaxed person in real life. I have low blood pressure, and I'm healthy. But I feel like I've aged in the past month. Seeing the ugly side of people takes a toll, and I feel like I have to make a very conscious effort to shed these weeks of turmoil.

But it's time now. These past few weeks I've said over and over again that the truth will be revealed and that we have to rest on God's promise that he will " bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts" (from 1 Cor. 4:5). Yet I've allowed myself to dwell on the offenses, playing events over again in my head. Last night as Dr. H. and I came home from yet another meeting, we decided to shake off the last vestiges of anger. We took deep breaths and squared our shoulders, shaking it all off. "Look," he said. "We are about to drive into the driveway of our home, where our three happy, beautiful, healthy children are waiting for us."

That's really what it's all about.

And then my brother called and said that my parents had signed papers on their house in New York and were on their way down. For a few minutes I entertained the thought of that beautiful house on the lake standing empty, but I shook that off quickly. After all this time, my sweet parents will be just a minute down the road from us, and I can see them every single day. And that's really what it's all about.

Who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. The LORD works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed.
(Psalm 103:4-6)

1 comment:

  1. I love that verse! We always tell our kids: You can't change your situation. You can only change your reaction.


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