Friday, May 30, 2008

A Splendid Day for Bad Mom

May 30, 2008

I'm having one of those Bad Mom days. I went seriously Bad Mommy on Duncan today when he refused to participate in swim lessons. First of all, swim team began 2 days ago. Duncan, who graduated from the pre-competitive league last year, was totally excited and ready to be a Flying Dolphin. Except that he didn't understand the instructions at the first practice and ended up swimming way farther than he needed to, and from there he just melted down.

So the next practice he was all excited and ready to try again. Except that he lasted about 10 minutes and something else happened. We decided he wasn't quite emotionally ready for swim team, so we made some phone calls and got him back in the pre-competitive program.

Once again, he was all excited and ready this morning, but once there, he refused to budge, even when Marty, the awesome instructor, tried to encourage him. No budging.

Not even when I told him that IF HE DIDN'T GET IN THAT POOL, he could not:
* swim for the rest of the summer
* play with the neighbors for a week
* play computer or watch TV all summer.

I seriously said those things, or some version of them. What was I thinking?
• I was thinking, "I paid $70 stinkin' dollars for this swim team so you are going to buckled down and do it, buddy!"
• I was thinking, "It is 100 degrees in this pool area, and if you don't get in and let me get out to the patio area, I am going to scream."
* I was thinking, "You are going to be 6'4" and an awesome swimmer someday, so you'd better start training now, buddy. After all, you are seven years old and you need to be ready for the Olympics in 10 years."


Fortunately, I thought all those things in my head, and whatever I actually said to Duncan, I said in one of those low-toned psycho Mommy voices that, hopefully, the others moms around couldn't hear.

We can only hope.

We've talked since then, my boy and I. Caroline laughed with me on the phone, completely understanding when Evil Mom rears her ugly head. Then Dr. H. pointed me in the direction of sanity. Something about Duncan not being characterized by being a quitter. Something about not scarring him for life by insisting that he swim competitively before he's ready. Something about him only being 7-years-old.

We went swimming this afternoon at the pool. Everytime he saw me, he gave me his big smile and wave. He played with the neighbors when we got home. And now he's watching TV. I did ask for his forgiveness, and he gave me that and his beautiful smile.

That boy does not hold grudges. (Oh, and we got our money back.)

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Friday, May 30, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by StillHisGirl (

I love you even more now. :)

Last year as Cassie sat on the side of the pool refusing to do anything because it was "too cold," I told her she would get in and do what her instructor told her or she would pay me back the $70. She got in. :) But it was still TOO COLD. Waaah.

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Friday, May 30, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Margaret (

Oh yeah, that low-toned bad mom voice... I hate it when I do that!

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Friday, May 30, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by sadie423 (

So nice to hear that my home isn't the only place bad mom days occur...I've had some moments like that with R before I came to terms with him being no where near ready to be in a group sport.

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Saturday, May 31, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Haflingerhorses (

Your post made me smile :) I've been there, done that too, well, not exactly in the swimming competition. I've mellowed - see that's the good thing that happens when you get older :).

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Saturday, May 31, 2008 - Worst Parent Ever

Posted by Anonymous (

I have a whole series of horrible parenting blogs. I was actually voted worst parent in all of 8th grade last year. It gives our kids something to do better than us, right? Anyway, loved it. Didn't want to register, not a homeschooler, but my site is

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Monday, June 2, 2008 - Sweet forgiveness

Posted by Lindsay (

How sweet the forgiveness of a young child! I, too, am guilty of the same feelings! I love when parents know it's important to ask for forgiveness from their child. To have those sweet arms thrown about your neck when you've asked for forgiveness and it's so freely given, is one of the sweetest times in parenting.

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Monday, June 2, 2008 - Untitled Comment

Posted by Anonymous (

:) I've sooo been there. Yep. Threatening. Thinking psycho thoughts. Frustrated beyond belief at one of my boys.... It's a good thing they forgive us.

Heidi @ Mt. Hope

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Monday, June 2, 2008 - relating!

Posted by Jennifer in OR (

I can SO understand this post. I feel your pain. :-) Glad you all worked through it. I'm have a Bad Mommy MONTH.

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